And now for something completely different ...
I'll wager those of you who recall this title also appreciate the brilliant, socially-biting humor of Monty Python. Although coined in a 1971 Python skit, it seems appropriate as a lead-in to the national embarrassment that is today's United States Congress. In 2006, you may have been manipulated by the Drive-by Media, angry, disappointed, frustrated, or were intractable over a single issue.
Okay, you taught "them" a lesson -- maybe some of "them" deserved a lesson (and maybe a few RINOs still do)Egged on by a never-ending media barrage of bad news ... you stayed home or indignantly marched to the polls and installed a Democrat-controlled Congress, just to teach "them" a lesson. -- but we ultimately paid the price for such actions. I forgive you - but only this one time. If you feel rather than think again, ignore common sense again, believe the Drive-by Media again, vote for those miserable, disingenuous, anti-American slugs again, I will hunt you down and force you to listen to the inane political diatribes of Alec Baldwin and Barbara Streisand - non-stop, 24/7.
New direction for America?
That was what Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and the rest of that sorry lot called their scheme to win back the House and veto-proof Senate. "Hey Harry, I know ... We'll con Burt and Ethel Doublewide living in Clodhopper Forks, America by listing six high-sounding but unattainable goals!" "Great scam, Nancy! We'll also instruct our Democrat Party-controlled media to incessantly ridicule the administration, intone a daily mantra of negativity and gloom, et voila! Back in the saddle for another 43 years!"
Back in power, back to the business of screwing taxpayers, free enterprise, and individual liberty.
The Drive-by Media has informed us daily of the president's job approval rating, hovering as a percentage somewhere in the low thirties. This is understandable given the way he has been publicly vilified every single day, and blamed for everything from increased sunspot activity, magically conjuring up Hurricane Katrina, to masterminding the African AIDS epidemic.
But something completely different happened.
Congress' job approval rating is now at an all-time low of nine percent - NINE PERCENT! - the lowest rating in the history of our beloved Republic. Have you wondered why the Drive-by Media does not remind you of this fact every single day, as they do with presidential approval numbers? Did you even know about it? And speaking of the Drive-by Media, their approval and trust ratings, circulation, and viewership are at their lowest since such numbers have been tabulated. This means at least some of you out there are getting wise to the shenanigans.
Sweet. I mean, come on -- the Evil Empire's Supreme Soviet Politburo had better numbers!
So what happened?
I believe the 'something completely different' -- a smattering of common sense -- is slowly but inexorably oozing its way into the consciousness of a growing number of Americans. Many had to have it beaten into their skulls full of mush, but the phenomenon appears to be continuing.
When Barack, Nancy, Harry, and their ilk grabbed power, gasoline was $2.30 per gallon - it hovers around $4.00 per gallon today (Ahem ... lower gasoline price was the number four guarantee on the Democrat Party's six-point New Direction for America).
Oops! 60 percent increase in 18 months! Hmm ... so much for the guarantee ... buzz kill, eh Nancy? It's we retired her back to San Francisco so she can attend Botox parties.
Barack, Nancy, Harry, and their ilk lectured us, told us the Iraq War was lost, told us we were doomed to failure, told us it was another Vietnam, told us our best and brightest sons and daughters were war criminals.
Oops! They sing a different tune now, don't they? Do you even hear of Iraq from the Drive-by Media? No, because it's all good news and we'll wind it up even sooner than projected.
Barack, Nancy, Harry, and their ilk lectured us, told us there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, told us it was only George Bush's Oil War, told us there were no terrorists in Iraq, told us we had nothing to fear from such a small country.
Oops! Turns out there were a plethora of terrorists, armaments, and training facilities that were not only being protected by Saddam Hussein but funded as well. Double Oops! This July we completed transferring 550 metric tons of yellowcake from Iraq to Canada (For those of you in Okeechobee County, that's the ore that is refined to make enriched uranium and bombs). Barack, Nancy, Harry, and their ilk aren't calling President Bush a liar anymore -- at least not about WMD.
Barack, Nancy, Harry, and their ilk have proven they are against domestic oil drilling, refining, and American self-sufficiency, even though we have an oil reserve conservatively estimated at 120 billion barrels of oil available to us right here in the good ol' USA! They shut down the House and Senate for a six-week vacation, shut down C-SPAN cameras, and even shut off the House and Senate lights (shut off the lights!) in the midst of the oil price crisis just to avoid debating conservatives in the public eye (a debate they will lose).
Oops! Conservative Republicans did not abandon Washington, stayed in the House and Senate, met daily without cameras and lights, and demanded on congressional record for open debates on energy self-sufficiency. Hey, Barack, Nancy, and Harry -- it ain't rocket science and you ain't royalty -- You represent us and 76 percent of us demand open debate and drilling.
Barack, Nancy, Harry, and their ilk lectured us, told us the Second Amendment did not guarantee individual rights, told us it was not as important as the other constitutional Amendments, told us we were too stupid to own firearms, told us that it should be abolished anyway because it was "anachronistic."
Oops! Barack, Nancy, Harry, and their ilk now say that they support individual rights under the Second Amendment -- now that the Supreme Court and public opinion have decreed they must.
Honestly, I can continue with this for days -- these folks are walking, talking poster children for arrogance, elitist condescension, and deceit -- but just these few I've already cited are enough to work on my last nerve and I need a break.
Just settle down
"But B2, B2!" you gasp, your swollen, bile-encrusted tongue lolling out of your mouth and rivers of perspiration running down your stress-distorted puss, "What about the awful, horrible, hopeless economy?"
Now, now, Mary ... take a deep breath, wire down, settle yourself, and quit that infernal, unattractive, un-American whining.
"Just don't screw up and forget your new-found enlightenment in November -- B2"
I'm no Payne Webber, but I do know that for six and a half years my retirement account statements indicated that the economy was booming. I also have enough common sense to realize that after an economic slowdown caused by natural and necessary corrections on artificially inflated markets and commodities, many economists now project a trend toward stability. As you read this, the Euro is falling (as it eventually must due to Europe's anemic socialist economies), the dollar is once again strengthening, and the national unemployment rate is still hovering around an unbelievably low six percent despite economic cooling and manipulated higher energy costs.
So why buy into the Democrat Party's mantra of doom? Because we have been conditioned to, that's why. Whether we realize it or not, years of non-stop media negativity and calculated distortions of reality have affected our perceptions and thus our dispositions, even if just at the subconscious level.
However, I choose to believe that each day, more Americans are able to identify the lies, lies by omission, distortions, and carefully orchestrated sound bites that are the only tangible "change" you will ever see or hear from Barack, Nancy, and Harry. And after all of these years observing my fellow citizens repeatedly swallowing the bait as the hooks are set, this new awareness provides me with a sense of cautious optimism.
For the rest, there is no hope and they will deserve what they get if successful in bringing the rest of us down with them. For those of you who have turned away from the dark side, however, welcome home, be of good cheer, and don't forget your new-found enlightenment come November.
May the force of reason be with you.