Dads: who needs 'em? Children, that's who
Happy Father's Day. Sorry to burst your bubble but Father's Day, contrary to popular misconception, was not established as a holiday in order to help greeting card manufacturers sell more cards. In fact when a "father's day" was first proposed in 1909, there were no Father's Day cards.
Father's Day has become an occasion to not only honor your father, but all men who act as a father figure, because as our society is now sadly learning from so many children who were raised without them, men are one of the great, stabilizing, often untapped resources in the lives of children. Brace yourselves for the generally-accepted hard truth: Fatherless homes produce the majority of troubled children. A father's influence, just like a mother's, is essential and irreplaceable.
But let's get something straight - there are some truly despicable guys out there, just as there are plenty of despicable women. Bad people will generally make bad parents, or selfishly avoid their parental responsibilities completely. So let's give some overdue and much-deserved credit to all those dads who exert every ounce of their strength and selflessness toward not only providing for their children's well-being but endowing them with love, morality, learning, and responsibility.
Good dads
A good dad teaches his son more than sports, how to build things, and how to hunt or fish. He teaches him more than he realizes when he bathes him, feeds him, plays with him, and kisses the boo-boos when they hurt. He is teaching him about a critical component of manhood - nurturing and how to care for others.
A good dad teaches his daughter to feel feminine yet powerful, beautiful and intelligent, and that she has the ability to help shape, contribute to, and enjoy the world and all it has to offer. A good dad will include a daughter in all of the activities that he does with a son. But there's a valid reason that the old saying, "Daddy's little girl" came to be - even dads that know better are softies when it comes to their little girls, are more protective of them, and as a rule demand less from them than they do sons. Sure it's inequality but sons, get over it - you'll understand when you have a daughter of your own.
Sons and daughters raised by good dads will know the values and responsibilities of compassion, active citizenship, self-worth, and common decency. But good dads do more, much more. Good dads take the time to read, sing songs, and do homework with children. Good dads take their children, assuming they are well-behaved, wherever they go and immerse them in whatever they do, as long as such activities are appropriate for children. Good dads acquaint their children with their friends, relatives, and grandparents, thus broadening their social horizons, enhancing the bonds of friendship, and extending the continuity of the family unit.
Yin and yang of parenthood
Dads are often unfairly perceived as disciplinarians but the good ones use this force to positively illustrate the adverse social implications of selfish or rude behavior, whereas moms tend to use emotional relationships to get their way. It's the Yin and Yang of Parenthood and is so important in a child's normal, healthy development. Good dads promote persistence, problem-solving, and the value of the occasional failure as a learning tool, rather than ignoring issues, making excuses for mistakes in judgment, or enabling children to accept failure. Remember, children feel secure when they know what is expected of them. But good dads are also creative playmates for their children, because thankfully there's a bit of the child in every man. I know you've seen at least one dad playing with a child, acting childish; I know my own children have.
When a good man becomes a father, he softens around the edges, becoming protective in ways he's never been before. A good dad will always, always place the needs and welfare of his children before anything of importance to himself, even including his own health. But a good dad also must take the slights, slings, and arrows from children who do not understand till they mature why he was so strict, didn't always agree with their world views, or questioned their decisions and priorities. That is the Yin and Yang of Dadhood, and it will never change. Good dads must sometimes make difficult choices and then bear unpleasant consequences that may last for decades.
So today, give thanks to and share your love with all those honorable, decent dads out there. And if you happen to be a divorced mom, please heed these words: Whatever you do, wherever you go, no matter how spiteful you wish to be, do not ever deny the right of your child to know and experience the love of his or her dad. There are few things on earth so evil, so shameful, or so harmful.