Kids don't say the darndest things, or much else
Hey, what's the deal? Are my children among the living? Have they all broken every finger so they cannot use a phone to check on their dear old gray-haired, decrepit, addle-brained dad? We've got important stuff coming up soon.
First, I'm heading over to Tampa on Sunday for a week-long conference. I asked Number One (only) Son, who resides in Tampa, to call me this week (after the last of several calls where I phoned him). You know, plan out a visit with them and my grandson whom I haven't seen since Christmas. This is important because they hardly ever visit and my grandson doesn't really know his grandfather. Zip, zero, nada, nyet, nothing ... not even a one-minute call. It's enough to give you a complex.
Next, my eldest daughter is getting married on the Saturday following the conference. Nice, eh? I would think so too, except:
- 1. I've never met her husband-to-be's parents - that would be nice, don't you think?;
- 2. She wants me to give her away, but has not called me to let me know about any rehearsal, what to wear, or when to show up;
- 3. I have never been to the wedding location and don't know how to get there; and
- 4. There is no 4, I'm just pissed off and wanted four things to bitch about.
I called her and left a message, but so far zip, zero, nada, nyet, nothing. It's enough to give you apoplexy.
And then there's the youngest daughter. We have been in contact, but I'm on a roll and am just throwing her under the bus for the fun of it.
Anybody out there who knows my children, hunt them down and bitch-slap them for me. They won't call dad, but you can be sure that the self-centered brats will be fighting each other tooth and claw when it's time to read my will! Maybe I'll change it and leave everything to orphaned cats or the Zimbabwe Worm Farm Relief Fund.