Toads from Hell
When I moved to Florida four decades ago, I would occasionally glimpse the largest toad I had ever seen. You see, I worked outside seven days per week and therefore was in a position to spot these ugly critters with regularity. A workmate of mine, a field-studious type into herpetology and related fields, informed me that they were known as Bufo marinus, native to Central and South America, and that they seemed to like Florida living.
"Understatement" comes to mind when I think back to that day. In 1936, when the brain surgeons from the University of Florida released these toads into the sugar-cane fields to catch beetles, they were hailed as potential heroes of agriculture. Now we know the species is a real pest and dangerous to pets. And when I say ugly, I mean ugly with a capital U. These things are seriously warty, with coloration that mottles tan, dull green, and black. They also have a slimy look to them and can honestly grow to the size of dinner plates.
But their ugliness doesn't stop at the surface; When an animal takes one in its mouth, the Bufo defends itself by exuding a poison slime from its body. The powerful poison can kill any animal under 40 pounds quickly. So much for Fido the beagle or Fifi the miniature poodle. Aside from killing off small pets, Bufos eat just about every insect they can find, as well as mice, rats, and other small animals. Nature's pest control, you say? Maybe, but they also eat all our native species as well.
So now the damned things are everywhere, gobbling up cats, dogs, rats, bats, chickens, stoats, goats, heifers, Volkswagens, and just about anything else they can fit in their mouths. But the ironic part of the story is . . . remember the sugarcane beetles? Turns out that the beetles could fly, while the toads could not. The university experiment was a total failure.
Throughout Florida and the Caribbean Basin, they have had an adverse effect on native specie populations. The United Nations Environment Program estimates that the toads are responsible for, or are major factors in, the extinction of 30 percent of threatened birds, and 15 percent of threatened plants. And oh, by the way -- there are no biological controls to reduce or eliminate the Bufo population, and the butt-ugly little varmints breed prolifically.
So if you pick one of these things up, wash your hands -- and keep a close eye on Fido and Fifi.